I was browsing my notes and found this in one of my “notebooks of wisdom” (from God of course!) šŸ™‚ Here goes:

8th November 2010/ Monday/ Florida -Joburg Mission House

Ok Lord, I get it. I really am sorry.

Yesterday, at mass in Geluksdal (Far East Rand of Johannesburg), Fr.Joseph Wilson’s homily was short and simple – “Give your peace to everyone you meet. If that person refuses to take your peace then keep your peace. It shouldn’t stop you from being at peace inside (and out). ” It reminded me of Errol, my loving hubby.Ā  Every time we argue or fight and he apologizes, and I would refuse – most of the time. Until I get tired after a day and then talk to him again. Then, he would act naturally and carry on with his day asĀ if nothing happened. And you know what? That would irritate me, I mean, Really?? Here I am feeling hurt and angry about what he did (or so I thought he did)Ā and here he comes so peaceful and jolly?? Grrrr…Ā  (hehehe.. ok, I’m exagerating..)

ButĀ God made meĀ realizeĀ thatĀ Ā it isĀ (peace) a gift that God gives to those who can easily ask for forgiveness. “Happy are the peacemakers, they shall be called the children of God..“, which was by the way, the Gospel today[Luke 17:1-6]. It’s about forgiveness and having faith! God is really teaching me deliberately and patiently to learn these two important attitudes in my life as anĀ individualĀ (not just as a missionary, but as His daughter, too.). For the past weeks, my husband and I have been having weird terrible fights over petty things – even if we swore not to argue so much or raise our voices, we obviously still fail. And I, on the other hand, unceasingly refuses to talk to him for days (only when we had to talk about work then we talk).Ā And I, for some reason (ok, that’s my pride, alright!), would refuse to forgive him easily.

Today,Ā I was tasked to give the session for our evangelization in one of the parishes in Florida, Johannesburg, because both of the speakers we asked were unfortunately unableĀ to do it due to heavy schedules. Anyways, guess what the title of the talk was? Yup, it’s “Repentance and Faith“. It’s so timely that I have to give this session. And it was also affirming because today’s Gospel talks exactly about forgiving the person seventy-seven times and having faith as uprooting a mulberry tree and be planted on to the sea! Oh yes, Lord! I do get what you are trying to tell me now. šŸ™‚ I am a servant just like my husband and just like everyone else around me. We are all on the same level before you, so who am I not to forgive easily? And not to have faith that people, no matter how difficult or hard they are, can change. Exactly! Like how YOU, believe in me.

Who am I? I’m just your creation – trying to be the person/image you are forming me to be since the beginning – in the image and likeness of You.

And so I rest my case. After writing this, I gave my hubby a big hugĀ and kiss and a sumptuous supper, which of course he enjoyed…Ā šŸ˜‰

Thank You, Lord, for not giving up on me. ā™„


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